He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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