My pussy is not your playground.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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