youre lurking in front of me
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
