Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize