Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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