Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
