I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
