dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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