Im at strip club and am horny
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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