Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
