I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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