Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
