Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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