Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
