Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
