Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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