Too much gin, very little bucket
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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