You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
