she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
