the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
