You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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