My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Actions speak louder than pants.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
