its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
