Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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