you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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