We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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