Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
