I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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