dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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