why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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