Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
