The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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