And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
