hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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