Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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