Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
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It's official drugs can't kill me
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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