we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
