I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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