fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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