we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
