Even water is tasting like jack daniels
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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