Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
