do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
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I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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