i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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