I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
