I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
