if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
