you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Even my vagina gasped.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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