i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
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I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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