Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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