omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
