stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Randomize
