it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
