this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
