I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
