i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
