Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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