Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
