I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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