its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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