Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
