i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
