I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
