Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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