i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
