My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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