I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
